Little Johnny is sitting in class one day when he needs to go to the bathroom.
“Miss Par,” he cries, “I need to take a piss!!”
“Now, Johnny that is not the proper word to use in this situation. The polite word is ‘urinate.’ Please use the word ‘urinate’ in a sentence correctly, and I will allow you to go.”
Little Johnny thinks for a moment, and then says, “You’re an eight, but if you had bigger tits, you’d be a ten.”

Little Johnny was sitting in Beginning Sex Ed class when the teacher drew a picture of a penis on the board. “Does anyone know what this is?” She asked. Little Johnny raised his hand and said, “Sure, my Dad has two of them!” “Two of them?” the teacher asked. “Yeah, He has a little one that he uses to pee with and a big one that he uses to bush mommy’s teeth!”

Teacher: "Four crows are on the fence. The farmer shoots one. How many are left?" Little Johnny says "None."
The teacher says; “Listen carefully: Four crows are on the fence. The farmer shoots one. How many are left?" Little Johnny again says "None."
The teacher asks "Can you explain that answer?" Little Johnny says "One is shot, the others fly away. There are none left."
The teacher says "Well, that isn't the correct answer, but I like the way you think."
After a while little Johnny raises a hand and says "Teacher, can I ask a question?" "Sure” replied the teacher.
"There are three women in the ice cream parlor. One is licking, one is biting and one is sucking her ice cream cone, which one is married?" "The one sucking the cone replied the teacher.” "No. The one with the wedding ring on, but I like the way you think." Said Johnny.

Little Johnny's first grade class was playing "Name That Animal." The teacher held up a picture of a cat and asked, "What animal is this?" "A cat!" said Suzy. "Good job. Now, what's this animal?" "A dog!" said Ricky. "Good. Now what animal is this?" she asked, holding up a picture of a deer. The class fell silent. After a couple of minutes, the teacher said, "It's what your mom calls your dad." "I know!" called out Little Johnny. "A horny bastard!"