Category: Blonde Jokes

Why did the blonde tip toe past the medicine cabinet?

So she wouldn’t wake up the sleeping pills

Category: Entertainment Jokes

Q. What did the egg say before he went into boiling water
A. Don’t expect me to get hard that fast I just got laid.

Category: Blonde Jokes

A blonde and a brunet are getting in the elevator, along comes this really hot guy. The girls noticed he has a really bad dandruff problem. The brunet whispers to the blonde, "Someone should give him head and shoulders", and the blonde says, "How do you give shoulders.

Category: Body Parts

Inside this 30-year-old actor lives Stanley the sperm cell along with about a million other sperm cells. We focus on Stanley because, for once, he wants to be the sperm that fertilizes the egg. He trains diligently every day. He swims around, lift weights, that kind of stuff. An old sperm cell comes up to him and asks the reason for all the exercise and Stanley replies, "I want to fertilize the egg." The old sperm cell tells young Stanley that if he is the one to do this he must say, "Hi, I'm sperm." to which the egg should reply, "Hi, I'm egg." then you can fertilize it. Stanley thanks him and the old sperm wishes him luck. Finally, the big day comes. It gets warm and somewhat vibrantly inside and then they're off. Millions of sperm are swimming fiercely with none other than Stanley in the lead. He's so proud of himself. As the distance between him and the other sperm grow, he notices a big red ball. He knows this is the egg and he swims his heart out to finish the race. He approaches the red ball and says, like the old sperm told him to, "Hi, I'm sperm." the big red ball replied, "Hi, I'm tonsil."

Category: Sick Jokes

An old lady walks in a dinner and seats where she can see the cook, and asks the waiter for a hamburger. He says "ok, hamburger." The old lady sees the cook stick the hamburger meat under his arm and slaps it on the grill. The old lady says,"Oh my God that is the most disgusting thing I’ve ever seen!" The waiter says, “That’s nothing you should see how he makes Donuts.

Category: Elderly Jokes

A 90 year old man finally gets to see a doctor, the doctor asks him to explain the problem. The man says he wants the Dr. to lower his sex drive. The Dr. is taken aback a bit but finally asks the man, just how old are you? The man answers I am 90. The Dr., still a little confused says you are 90, and you want your sex drive lowered? Yes said the man, it's all in my head and I want you to lower it.

Category: Farmer Jokes

There was a farmer who had many pigs. One day someone went to the farm and asked the farmer: "What do you use to feed your pigs?"
"Well, I give them acorn, corn, and things like that. Why?"
"Because I am from the Animals Protection Association and I think you don't feed them like you should, they shouldn't eat wastes."
Then he fined the farmer.

Some days later, another person arrived and asked the same question. The farmer answered: "Well, I feed them very well. I give them salmon, caviar, shrimp, steak...why?"
"Because I am from the United Nations Organization and I think it's unfair that you feed your pigs like that when there are people dying with nothing to eat."
And he fined the farmer.

Finally, another man came in and asked just the same question. The hesitant farmer answered after a few minutes: "Well, I give five dollars to each pig so they can buy whatever they want."